The Ants and the Grasshopper

THE ANTS were spending a fine winters day drying grain collected in the summertime.

A Grasshopper, perishing with famine, passed by and earnestly begged for a little food. The Ants inquired of him, "Why did you not treasure up food during the summer?

He replied, "I had not leisure enough. I passed the days in singing. They then said in derision: "If you were foolish enough to sing all the summer, you must dance supperless to bed in the winter.

Vocabulary Help

• ant - formiga
• dry - secar
• grain - grão
• summertime - verão
• grasshopper - cigarra
• perish - perecer
• beg - implorar, suplicar
• treasure up food - acumular comida
• leisure - lazer
• sing - cantar
• derision - desprezo
• fool - tolo
• supperless - sem jantar

The Adopted Bird

Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground.

After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.

Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."

Vocabulary Help

• turtle - tartaruga
• climb - subir
• tree - árvore
• effort - esforço
• reach - alcançar
• jump - pular
• wave - balançar
• arm - braço
• slowly - lentamente
• ground - chão
• couple of birds - casal de pássaros
• branch - galho
• sad - triste
• mate - companheiro
• it's time - está na hora

Telephone Joke

"Hello, this is your local Zoo speaking. Do you like animals? We are experiencing severe problems with hot water. Would you be so kind as to allow us to bring our elephants over to your bathroom for a shower?"

The most common response: "Well, sure, but my neighbour's bathroom is bigger and better equipped to handle elephants."

Vocabulary Help

• speak (speak, spoke, spoke) - falar
• hot - quente
• water - água
• allow - permitir
• bring (bring, brought, brought) - trazer
• bathroom - banheiro
• shower - banho de chuveiro
• sure - certamente
• neighbour - vizinho
• handle - lidar, tratar

Sunday School

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honor thy Father and thy mother," she asked, "is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

Vocabulary Help

• Sunday School - escola dominical
• ten commandments - dez mandamentos
• honor thy father and thy mother - honrai pai e mãe
• brother - irmão
• sister - irmã
• without missing a beat - sem perder tempo
• thou shall not kill - não matarás

Stranded on an island

There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.

Vocabulary Help

• stranded - perdidas
• island - ilha
• brunette - morena
• redhead - ruiva
• blonde - loira
• mainland - continente
• shore - praia
• swim (swim, swam, swum) - nadar
• tired - cansada
• drown - afogar
• made it - conseguir
• starve - morrer de fome
• endurance - resistência
• in sight - a vista
• swim back - voltar

Stolen engine

A blonde woman is driving a Porsche. She sees another blonde woman with a Porsche that has broken down on the side of the road. She stops to ask what's wrong.

The owner of the broken Porsche said, 'I just had a look under the hood, well, while I was driving somebody had stolen the engine.'

The other said, 'Oh, don't worry, I have a spare one in the back of my Porsche.

Vocabulary Help

• steal (steal, stole, stolen) - roubar
• blonde - loura
• drive (drive, drove, driven) - dirigir
• see (see, saw, seen) - ver
• break down - quebrar
• side - lado
• wrong - errado
• owner - proprietária
• have a look - dar uma olhada
• hood - capo
• engine - motor
• worry - preocupar
• spare - reserva